Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Bright Red Mac

Too many of my posts seem to be about food and food-related topics.

Whatever.  Here’s another one.

The general international viewpoint on American food is that it’s not all that.  And that the portions are too big and that’s why we’re all fat.  But no.  We’re all fat because it’s so damn tasty and that’s why we eat more of it.  And I set out to prove that in 3 easy steps.

Step 1:  macaroni and cheese.  From scratch.  Extra sharp cheddar, parmesan, feta, and gouda.  I made it for the Spanish boys weeks and weeks ago.  They were skeptical at first, but after a few bites, I swear they were horny for the stuff.  But here’s the kicker- when I suggested making it again one night, their faces lit up like little children’s faces on Christmas morning.  Not that I know exactly what that looks like in real life, because I’m Jewish and I don’t like children, but I’ve seen it in movies.  1 point for Phill and the Americans.

I’ve even done gluten-free mac n cheese and kosher mac n cheese a few times, and maybe I’ll meet a gluten-intolerant Jew and be daring enough to do a kosher AND gluten-free mac one of these days.  AND, better yet, I went to a dinner party a few weeks ago which had a red theme (because it was May Day and I think red is somehow associated with that, though I’m American and we don’t have May Day so I’m not entirely sure) and I decided that I needed to represent the USA a bit and do a mac n cheese… in red!  Copious amounts of red food colouring later, I had a neon red (maybe pinkish) dish of pasta that looked a bit like a scene from a horror movie.  (Notice that I added the “u” to coloring!)  But it tasted delicious.  See…


Step 2:  chicken tetrazzini.  Another American classic.  Another win!  They loved it!  I cheated and used the recipe from the Campbell’s soup website (of course I had to go to the American website because Campbell’s Australia didn’t have it), but it was good nonetheless, and it called for about 20 fewer ingredients and 45 fewer steps than making it from scratch like The Food Network’s website suggested.  I believe that is 2 points for Phill and the Americans.  Alycia said it best:

Step 3:  Ok, I haven’t figured out what my next dish will be yet, but I’m sure it will be good.  Besides, I think I’ve already won them over with the first two, so maybe I’ll quit while I’m ahead, though it would be fun to attempt something complicated involving peanut butter.  Comparing American cuisine to Australian cuisine… there’s no comparison.  Australia may have better health care, expanded gay rights, better international reputation, and a more laid-back culture, but the United States has the food.  No “buts”.  The United States has the food.


  1. Chicken fried steak? Chicken pot pie?

  2. Hmmm - there are already lots of meat pies here, and I don't eat beef, but you're thinking in the right direction!

  3. Jeebus.
    I love this blog, but I think we need a sense of perspective.

    From your own Campbells Soup recipe for chicken tetrazzini, I presume that when you say that "the United States has the food", you mean that "Americans can pour cans of slop into a baking dish and reheat it better than anyone".

    Please, tel me I'm wrong.

  4. Why spend hours cooking when you can take the easy way and still have it taste delicious??? :)