Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Baby's First Kangaroo

“Baby’s First Kangaroo” is the first of a three part series:  “Beyond Sydney:  Day Trips & Shit.” Look for the second and third installments in the days to come.

I knew it was coming.  It was almost here, and it had the potential to ruin everything.  “It”… was work.  And while it’s happening now and I can’t afford to change it, I decided to take full advantage of my last two weeks of freedom by venturing a bit beyond the CBD.  First stop:  just across the water to the fabulous Taronga Zoo.

It’s a zoo.  Big fucking whoop, right?  Well, yes.  For the average Australian, I imagine that Taronga Zoo isn’t all that AND a bag a potato chips.  Or potato crisps, actually, because crisps are chips and chips are French fries and wedges are more portly French fries and it’s all very confusing.  But for a “Yank” like me, it was pretty sweet.  First, you take the ferry there across the harbor – or rather, the harbour.  Then, you take the Sky Safari (gondola thingy) OVER the zoo to the top of the hillside on which the zoo sits, and then you work your way back down the hill while viewing all of the animals and you conveniently end up back at the ferry terminal at the bottom.  Did I mention the zoo is right on the water and the views of the city are amazing?  No?  Well, it is, and they are.

Of course, Taronga has all of the typical creatures:  lions, and tigers, and bears, OH MY!  And giraffes, and elephants, and an aquarium with seals and penguins, and a random peacock running around the food court.  But what was awesome was the large collection of marsupials and other native-Aussie fauna.  Yes, many zoos in the U.S. have Australian animals such as kangaroos, but the zoo here had a “shit ton” of Australian animals.  I think it said that in the brochure.

Maybe not.

There were kangaroos and wallabies and emus and crocodiles and cassowaries and wombats and platypuses (or is it platypi?) and echidnas and Tasmanian devils and koalas and a kookaburra sitting on the old gum tree… merry merry king of the bush is he… nevermind.

Anyway, through the use of expensive technology, I now present to you:  the zoo!

O. M. G.  YES! YES! YES!  My first kangaroo!  And he’s… licking his balls, maybe?  Thumbs up to that.

Cock of the walk.  Or emu of the… something.  Whatever.  He or she was just walking around like he or she owned the damn place.


This bird will fuck you up.  Seriously:  one of these killed a man in 1926, and killed a dog more recently in the 90’s.  It’s a bird forchristssake, but it can “disembowel a man with one kick.” Cassowary?  No, thanks.  I’ll have the chicken.

And what trip to the zoo would be complete without video of a koala?

Cute, eh?  He sleeps 20 hours a day and eats and plays in trees for the remaining 4 hours.

Lucky bastard.

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