What the heck is a sultana? I saw it mostly at bakeries and restaurants. Upon researching the topic, I found the following definitions:
1. A wife or concubine of a sultan
2. A sister, daughter, or mother of a sultan
3. A mistress, especially of a king or other royal personage
4. A small, seedless raisin
If only 1 out of 4 definitions describe a raisin, does that mean that when I order a "sultana muffin" there's a 75% chance that the contents of the muffin are made from some deceased royal woman or concubine? And if so, can I pick which one? I'd rather have the sister, mother, or wife baked into my morning pastry than a concubine or mistress. I imagine the muffins from the whore sultanas may have STDs or something and I'd hate to walk away from the breakfast table with gonorrhea. That'd be the last time I ever ate at that bakery! Also, how do they keep sultanas (definitions 1 through 3) fresh in those boxes of Sultana Bran at the supermarket?
On second thought, can I switch my order to the blueberry or chocolate chip muffin? Thanks.
In other news, I learned yesterday that cantaloupe is called rockmelon in Australia. Rockmelon does not rhyme with antelope and is therefore far less fun than cantaloupe.