Sunday, March 21, 2010

Petitioning the Prime Minister

Ok, you’re going to have to follow me on this one.  I promise it will all make sense at the end.  I propose that we move the capital of Australia from Canberra to Sydney.  I am proposing this for two main reasons.  Reason one:  Canberra is little and boring and the general consensus among Aussies is that it completely sucks.  Reason two:  THERE IS NOT A SINGLE EFFING ETHIOPIAN RESTAURANT IN THE ENTIRE SYDNEY METROPOLITAN AREA.

Seriously- not a single one.  There are tons of Asian restaurants of all ethnicities, and Indian food is abundant.  Middle Eastern food, no matter how offensive tasting it is here, can be found on every corner, and despite their lack of quality, it’s not hard to find a Mexican restaurant either.  Italian food: check.  Chicken sandwiches:  check.  Kosher bakeries: check.  I even found one restaurant that serves macaroni and cheese.  Who knew?!?

That leaves Ethiopian food.  Coming from Seattle, I’ve been accustomed to tasty Ethiopian food, brought to us by Seattle’s surprisingly large Ethiopian and Eritrean communities.  But there aren’t any African people here.  There are barely black people here of any background.  Seriously.  I’ve seen maybe six black people during my entire two months in Sydney.

And that means no Ethiopian food for me.  Now, they have a small handful of African restaurants here, but those are more African fusion – blending foods from all parts of Africa, including Morocco, which while geographically a part of Africa, really ought to be grouped with Middle Eastern food.  I don’t trust those restaurants.  Any restaurant that serves Ethiopian food alongside cous cous is completely whack.

I want my big ass plate of doro tibs and kike and gomen and doro wot and misser wot and shiro wot and all of the other wots – sitting on a big piece of injera – and I don’t want them giving me utensils – I want to use my hands (after washing them of course) and the injera just like they do in normal Ethiopian restaurants.  Can you eat cous cous with your hands?  No.

Canberra - which is like a hut village compared to Sydney – has THREE Ethiopian restaurants.  Three!  And there’s not one in Sydney!  If we move the capital of Australia from Canberra to Sydney, that would mean that the Ethiopian embassy would have to move here, and with it, bring some Ethiopian people.  Then, those Ethiopian people would open up an Ethiopian restaurant here in my neighborhood.

Sounds logical, right?

I’m starting a petition to send to Prime Minister Rudd down there in Canberra.  I want the capital moved to Sydney effective immediately.  Who’s with me?

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