Tonight, after 24 grueling nights of feeling like a four year-old, I will once again feel like a man. Ok, fine, more like a fourteen year-old man. Whatever.
The room I am renting was vacated by two nice Spanish boys who were sharing it while studying English here in Sydney. I’ll post more on the roommate situation in the next few days. Anyway, they were kind enough to leave all of their furniture for me to use, including the bunk beds they purchased for $3.50 at Ikea.
So, since moving into my new home, I’ve had this feeling that I am a four year-old child. I was contemplating getting some glow in the dark decorations to glue to the bottom side of the upper bunk so that I could fall asleep on the bottom bunk looking at some fluorescent stars, but in the end, a better plan was devised.
Coles, our local national chain supermarket, sells a shitty made-in-China handsaw imitation type thing for $5. So it was purchased, and the top bunk was surgically sawed off from the bottom bunk. I now have half a bunk bed in my room. Very classy.
Since no lesbians were around to assist, one of my heterosexual male housemates did the actual sawing while I supervised and took apart a few screws. In the process, the saw itself lost one of the screws which keeps its handle intact and managed to cut my housemate with the dull side of the blade. Thanks, China. But in the end, the process went fairly smoothly and the obtrusive top bunk is now out of sight and out of mind.
The remaining bottom bunk is still only a twin size, so my feet hang off a little. It sort of feels like a teenager’s room now, but it’s a step in the right direction. And it’ll be super great in the unlikely event that I bring a boy home to “watch a movie with.”
But it’s only for a few months. And it was free. And I like free.