Co-worker: So, what are you doing for Christmas?
Me: Not too much. Just heading over to some friends’ house for Mimosas and Challah French Toast.
Co-worker: Mimosa? Is that like a samosa?
Co-workers: Oh – it’s a flower, isn’t it???
Australians do not know what a Mimosa is. I was super excited for my Christmas Mimosa brunch at David & Elcid’s house. Elcid was making Challah French Toast as well and we were going to lounge around all day watching all sorts of American TV that I had been missing. But every time I said I was going to make Mimosas, every Australian looked at me funny – like how a cow looks at an oncoming train. Seriously – not one of them knew what it was. The Brits didn’t get it either.
How do these people not know what a Mimosa is???
After asking at least a dozen people, I was amazed to find that they would simply call it “Champagne and orange” here. BORING! Champagne and orange is not a fun cocktail name. It’s lame and lazy and a poor excuse of a name for a drink. Mimosa sounds exotic and delicious and tantalizing. And the Brits… the Brits call it a “Buck’s Fizz”. Now, for you Americans who don’t know, “buck” is another name for a dude (for example, instead of a “bachelor party”, guys in Australia have a “bucks night”). So, when I hear the words “Buck’s Fizz”, all I can think about is… jizz. Because that’s what it sounds like and that’s that visual you get.
And who the hell would want to drink jizz?
Ok, maybe a whore named Chrissie would, but nobody else.
Oh, maybe some power bottoms too. But that really has to be extent of it.
Further research revealed that the International Bartenders Association classifies a Buck’s Fizz as having 2 parts orange juice to 1 part champagne, whereas a Mimosa has 1 part orange juice to 1 part Champagne. Therefore, Mimosas are the obvious choice.
People of the world outside of North America: Take note! Mimosas are delicious beverages that can be enjoyed at breakfast, brunch, lunch, or dinner, or as an afternoon snack, as an after dinner drink, or past midnight. They can be enjoyed at home, at restaurants, on patios, or in-flight. There are no limitations! And, even better, their name doesn’t remind you of jizz!
Step 1: Start with some strawberries to add a touch of class because we’re classy like that.
Step 2: Add champagne.
Step 3: Add orange juice.
Step 4: Consume with Challah French Toast. Yummy!
Make sure to wear your finest Christmas pimp outfit! Poor Elcid.
And, after brunch, have a fancy roof top Christmas dinner! It’s Australia. We can have a Christmas dinner on the roof without freezing. Hahaha!
Make sure to include Elcid’s orgasmic sweet potato concoction!
And maybe some chocolate cake for good measure.
And that’s a good Mimosa Christmas.