Sunday, July 25, 2010

Just Like Finding Jesus

Continuing on the same theme as last month’s post about the Vivid light show, the people in charge around here try to keep Sydneysiders as busy as possible with exhibitions, festivals, and more during the “cold” winter months.  Luckily, there is another important way that Aussies keep busy in June:  Shopping!

The end of financial year (EOFY as they abbreviate it here) falls on June 30 in Australia, and there are heaps of sales around town as every retailer wants to get in that last minute revenue to beef up their balance sheets.  No retailer is exempt, not even… IKEA!

First of all, did you notice my completely natural use of the word “heaps” above?  Oh yes, I’m totally an Aussie now.  Second of all, you read that right – a sale at IKEA!  But how can they discount their already uber-competitive prices?  I don’t how they do it, but they do it, and that’s all that matters.

My heterosexual buddy, Todd, woke up early with me one morning a few weeks ago to take the train with me 30 minutes out to the suburbs.  We arrived at 8:59 to hop in the queue of people already outside waiting for the 9am opening.  And then they opened the doors, and we were off like a herd of turtles – slowly meandering through the magnificent maze that is IKEA – completely awestruck at all of the pretty things that were surrounding us.  I nearly orgasmed in the kitchen section (note that I said “nearly”) and dropped to my knees to pray near the bedroom furniture.  I imagine I felt the same way that Christians do when they find Jesus.

IKEA is my Jesus.  And I am very religious.

We were in the IKEA for nearly four hours before we grabbed lunch and took the train back with our purchases.  And how do you know that I’m telling you all the truth?  Well, I took pictures to prove it.  Yes, I took pictures at the sale at IKEA.  Somewhere in the world right now, there is a busload of camera-happy Japanese tourists thinking to themselves “Why didn’t I think of that?”

Church of Sweden.  I mean IKEA.


Fillsta.  That’s Swedish for “The Phillster”.

Stuffed sharks and kangaroos, just to give IKEA a touch of Aussie authenticity.

Look at the sale on this bedspread!!!  Yes, I bought it.  It was cheaper than a t-shirt at Target in Australia.

I don’t eat beef, but for $1, I was tempted.

Todd, on the phone with his wife, asking her to meet us at the train station with a bigger dolly.  Yes, we took that massive box on the train with us.  How tall was it?  Well, Todd is over 6 feet.  That should give you an idea.

I had to buy an IKEA duffel bag/backpack for my purchases: the above mentioned bedspread, two pillows, a door mat, and some hangers.

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