Sunday, April 25, 2010

Best Funeral Ever

You know that feeling that many women get in their late 20’s and early 30’s?  You know, that feeling of their bodies telling them that they need to have a baby – and soon?  Well, my housemates and I recently had that feeling.  But instead of a feeling about pushing a screaming little nuisance through our loins, our feeling was about throwing a party.

That’s a pretty good analogy, right?

But in order to throw a party, you have to have a reason – a cause to celebrate.  Maybe a holiday?  Maybe a birthday?  An anniversary perhaps?  A great idea would be a bar mitzvah, but since I’ve already had mine and the Spanish boys weren’t too keen on the idea, we decided to toss it.  So, in the end we did what any reasonable people would do.  We threw a funeral.

Or rather, a funeral party.  A fish funeral… party.

And the invitation went like this: 

Dear Friends,

As many of you have heard, our household was stunned last week by the tragic death of our fish, Fighty. His exact cause of death is unknown, but the coroner's office is certain that Fighty's passing somehow involves the Cookie Monster.

We have all been wallowing in despair these past few days, but we've decided that we should pull ourselves together and celebrate the amazing life of the greatest fish that has ever lived on Cleveland Street. Over the course of his three months on this planet, Fighty touched the lives of so many of us and it is only appropriate that we honor his legacy... with alcohol. His memorial service will begin promptly at 4:00pm, with the traditional vodka service following shortly thereafter at 4:01.

We do ask that you BYO, as Fighty would have wanted it that way. We will have some light snacks, but please also bring anything that you'd like us to throw on the barbie.

We can't wait to show you how we put the "fun" in funeral!

- Mayra, Oscar, Jim, & Phill

I hate to brag, but I just have to say that our party was, well, probably the best fish funeral EVER.  It was the talk of the town.  Dozens of people were in attendance – so many that at one point it was quite difficult to move through the kitchen… or dining room… or through our nicely sized patio.  After the event, Facebook photos sprang up like wildfires.  Or is that wild flowers?  Either way.  Did I mention that we started at 4pm and the last guests left after 4am?  Damn, Gina!  The mess was a bit much the next day – the floors were black and there must've been hundreds of beer bottles - but let us not dwell on the details.

And what happened to poor little Fighty you might ask?  Well, we – very honorably I might add – gave Fighty a proper maritime burial.  Down the toilet he went.