My friend Lisanne was in town from Seattle this past weekend, so I decided to give her a taste of true blue Australia. So, I took her to eat a giant burrito!
Because nothing says Australia like a giant burrito.
My favourite local burrito joint – Mad Mex – has a challenge every May to eat a giant burrito. Weighing in at 1 kilogram (approximately 2.2 pounds), the kilo burrito is roughly twice the size of a regular burrito. If you eat the whole thing in one sitting and present the wrapper to them, you get a t-shirt to commemorate your victory. Sweet.
This just goes to show: you can take the boy out of America but you can’t take the America out of the boy. (But I am all for universal health care and gay rights, so really, my love of Mexican food is really my “most American” characteristic at this point.)
Michael and I went to The Big Burrito Challenge last year, where we both conquered the beast. Oh yes, that’s a kilogram less in the basket and a kilogram more in my belly:
And Michael even got to shake the really hot employee’s hand after he finished!
I was jealous. This year we amassed a larger group. Michael, having felt satisfied at defeating the burrito last year, opted out of this year’s challenge but came along for moral support. Of course there was Lisanne, but the thought of 16+ hours on a plane back to Seattle the next day with a kilogram of burrito sitting in her stomach was enough to put her off. Valid excuse. Fresh-off-the-boat from America insurance dude Jarrett came along as well. Being from California, I fully expected him to chow down. He also declined the big burrito. But there was no valid excuse. I was actively judging him and the ruling was not in his favour.
So, let’s get to it. Time to meet the beast:
Doesn’t look so ominous at first, but then you compare it to the regular size burrito:
For the Americans reading this, the regular size burrito is roughly the same size as a Chipotle burrito. Now, let’s meet the team! Of course, my favourite Arkansan-turned-Aussie Jessica and I were up for the challenge:
All I had to say were the words “giant burrito” and Jess was on board instantaneously. Now, if Jess was going to do it, her lovely husband Guy was going to have to do it too, you know, because eating a giant burrito is definitely a couple’s thing.
Cade was away traveling last year for the whole month of May – hence why I dragged Michael along in his place – but Cade was super eager to give it a go this year:
And last but not least, rounding out the pack with the fifth giant burrito was Vince:
Let’s get to it. Ready? Set? Go!
Vince and Cade finished first and third, respectively:
The speed at which Vince ate the giant burrito was… pretty hot. I’m not going to lie. Most people are attracted to men with lots of money, brains, good looks, and a nice car. But not me. Is it weird that the speed at which a man eats a giant burrito tops my list of criteria?
Well, that and air-conditioning in the summer months…
Ok, enough of my lunatic ramblings and back to reality. Guy completed the challenge second and I came in a respectable fourth, but in my defense, I was busy taking photos and such. And really, slow and steady wins the race. I finished. And I was proud.
Jessica’s burrito was determined to fall apart and make a mess, so she switched to a fork part way through. It was a bit rough toward the end:
But she downed the last bit of delicious tortilla to a round of thunderous applause!
Five contenders. Five kilograms of burritos. Five empty baskets. Five full stomachs.
Well, not totally full. Just like last year, we decided to go for ice cream after.
Yeah. We’re hardcore like that.