Shitty Umbrellas - Part 2

It’s been over a year since I blogged about shitty umbrellas (http://phillipdavid.blogspot.com.au/2011/12/shitty-umbrellas.html), and while the topic doesn’t necessarily warrant a second posting, this past weekend’s extremely rainy and windy weather has inspired me to go for round two.  Once again, Sydney turned into an umbrella graveyard, and I went in armed with my iPhone camera.  So, without further ado, I present to you this weekend with umbrellas of Sydney:

The Inside-the-Lobby Umbrella

The Umbrella in the Recycling

The Bus Stop Umbrella

The Rubbish Bin Umbrella

The Footpath Umbrella

The Abstract Art Umbrella

Saturday night.  12:30am.  I was heading home from a friend’s birthday drinks in Potts Point.  There was thunder and lightning.  Bad thunder and lightning.  I had no money left for a taxi.  Being only a 15 minute walk back to my house, I decided to brave the elements.  I was armed with my trusty Hammacher Schlemmer windbrella from New York.  It’s a fancy umbrella, and it never fails me.  But tonight, this dreadful night, the wind was just too strong a force to be reckoned with.  My super durable windbrella became disfigured somewhere along William Street.  Metal parts bent, I was unable to close the umbrella upon arrival at my apartment.  Needless to say, the rest of my night and the entire next day were completely ruined.

This is the biggest tragedy since the Hindenburg disaster.

Gun Control in Australia

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Australian Marriage Update

I last posted about marriage equality in Australia in August 2011, and things were looking very promising here at that time.  It has been a year and a half since then, and a lot has happened around the world.  Denmark became the eleventh country to legalize marriage for same-sex couples.  In November 2012, voters in the US states of Washington, Maine, and Maryland changed the tide when they voted for marriage equality for the first time in US history, and voters in Minnesota at the same time rejected an amendment that would have enshrined marriage discrimination into their state constitution.  The Mexican state of Quintana Roo legalized nuptials for all, as did courts in four of Brazil’s 26 states and their national capital:  Alagoas, Bahia, Brasilia, Piaui, and Sao Paulo.  There were further court victories in the Mexican state of Oaxaca and activists there seem to have a state-by-state court-based solution to remedy their inequality.  More recently, marriage equality has passed crucial votes in Uruguay, England, France, and just over the water in New Zealand.  All four of those countries are expected to have full marriage equality in the coming months.  On top of that, there are serious movements in Ireland, Scotland, Luxembourg, and even Colombia to bring marriage equality to all.  Hell, even Thailand is about to vote on civil unions and the government of Vietnam is currently looking at that as well.  Holy crap!

Back in the US, the legislatures of Illinois and Rhode Island each had one chamber pass marriage equality, and both states appear poised to pass marriage legislatively in the very near future as Democrats control the other chamber in both states.  A measure is being introduced in Minnesota this week, Delaware shouldn’t be too far behind, civil rights campaigners are busy shoring up support to override the fat-ass governor’s veto in New Jersey, and Colorado should have civil unions by the end of this month.  Hell, same-sex marriage was even brought up in New Mexico, Texas, and Wyoming!  Not that is has any chance in any of those states right now, but it’s at least being talked about there.  Who would have thunk?  Five other states are looking to overturn the marriage discrimination amendments in their constitutions in 2014, and both the so-called Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and Proposition 8 cases are scheduled to be argued in front of the Supreme Court in March, with decisions handed down by June.  It could be horrifying, or the best thing ever.  Let’s hopes the justices do what’s right and strike down both discriminatory laws as all lower courts have done before them.

So, what about Australia?  The governing Labor Party voted to officially include marriage equality in their party platform in December 2011.  Despite that, Prime Minister Julia Gillard proposed allowing conscience vote on the issue – so members of the party can vote against party platform if they want to.  With that, it pretty much dashed any hope of bringing equality to hundreds of thousands of Australians who need it.  The leader of the Liberal Party (Australia’s right-wing party) refuses to allow a conscience vote on the issue despite quite a few high profile members of his party supporting it.  Nevertheless, a marriage equality bill was brought up in the House of Representatives where it was defeated swiftly – 42 to 98.  That’s a ridiculous defeat for a country where polling suggests 70% of the population is in favour of the change and for a country where Macklemore’s song “Same Love” about gay rights and marriage equality – which only scratched the charts in the US, topping out at # 89 – went all the way to # 1 here down under.  The public want this change, but politicians are playing dirty games and catering to a few critical swing voters.

Next up:  maybe a state based attempt?  Marriage has been regulated federally in Australia, but legal scholars don’t seem to agree on what would happen should a state pass a marriage equality law.  Tasmania tried to legislate for marriage equality a few months ago.  It passed one house of their Parliament, but missed out by two votes in the other.  It seems some of their Members of Parliament didn’t want to thrust little Tasmania into a battle over marriage with the federal government.  My state, New South Wales, is the largest state with the most resources to defend any marriage equality law from the federal government.  The state Parliament currently has an enquiry out to the public, and it looks like it may come up for a vote in a few months.  Victoria and South Australia have also had rumblings and it will be interesting to see how it all plays out.  We know it is inevitable, but just how long will Australia wait and just how far behind other parts of the world will they fall before the government grows some balls and takes some action?

Now, we know that the laws here don’t provide marriage equality for all Australians, but that doesn’t mean that loving gay and lesbian couples can’t get married.  When civil laws of a country fail, sometimes there’s a religious law that will back you up.  It is surprising that so many people hide their bigotry behind their religion, but as I’ve experienced it, religion is one place where you can and should be accepted.  Enter two of my best mates:  Elcid and David.

Late last month, Elcid and David tied the knot in a religious ceremony and a lavish reception to rival all other weddings.  As many or most Jews are very liberal, the local synagogue had no issue performing a religious wedding for the boys (as long as both were Jewish, so Elcid spent the last who knows how long going through the conversion process.)  The synagogue called both grooms up to the Torah on the Shabbat before the wedding – a religious ceremony called the aufruf.  On the day of the wedding, the two grooms took their place underneath the chuppah (Jewish wedding canopy) and Rabbi Ninio united them together as a married couple in the eyes of God.

They signed the ketubah (Jewish marriage contract) and then they both stomped on glass – a symbolic Jewish wedding custom) before moving into the reception hall.  Of course, we had to hoist the boys up on chairs and dance the Horah!

Then there were drinks, food, more drinks, more food, and a crazy photo booth where Team America shined! (Elcid is also originally from the old country)

Then I had to give the big speech that I had been panicking over for weeks – and fortunately it went extremely well (despite me incorporating the word “penis” into the speech… four times…)  And then there was cake.

Delicious cake.  Made by a friend of theirs.  And it had the world’s cutest wedding cake toppers WHICH MATCHED THE BOYS’ OUTFITS.

See?!?!?  Now, I don’t know if they had the cake topper made that way, or if they picked out their outfits based on the topper that they found, but it was amazeballs.  EVEN THE KIPPAHS MATCHED!  Let me repeat:  even the fucking kippahs matched!  HOLY AMAZEBALLS!

From start to finish, the wedding was absolutely perfect – every detail.  Except for the length.  I wouldn’t have been opposed to another hour of dancing!  At the end, the boys exited stage left and the rest of us went home full, tired, and slightly tipsy.  Or a bit more than slightly tipsy.  Perfect night!

So my question is – especially posed to Prime Minister Gillard – if our synagogue recognizes this marriage between two loving adults as equal to all other marriages performed in the eyes of God, why can’t Australia recognize that as well?  Why can’t Australia – and all of the other countries out there – respect our religion and let us decide for ourselves what is right and what is wrong?  Marriage equality isn’t just a civil rights issue.  It’s also a religious freedom issue.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go make my submission to the New South Wales marriage equality inquiry.

Dirty Thirty Down Under

All of those years of making fun of people over thirty finally came back to bite me in the ass.  At the beginning of this month, my odometer hit 30 years old.  Eeeek!

One of the great things about being in Australia is that I now have a summer birthday – no more Seattle rain to gray out my big day.  Furthermore, I sort of have two birthdays.  I was born on February 1st, but if you go down to the minute, the 18-hour time change between Sydney and my birth state of New Mexico meant that my odometer didn’t actually tick over until early afternoon on February 2nd.  So I did what any reasonable person would do:  I celebrated both days.

Friday night – my American birthday – was spent with my close circle of friends.  One by one they braved the pouring rain (so much for a sunny summer birthday) and showed up at my apartment to indulge in two bottles of 10-year old Semillon that I had been saving for a special occasion.

They came bearing inappropriate birthday cards and fantastic gifts of fancy coffee mugs, a credit on my car share membership, a bottle of wine from my favourite winery, lots of American delicacies, and more!

Another bottle or two later, and our little group was off to Food Society, a delicious Modern Eastern European restaurant situated less than two blocks from my apartment.

We had a feast of cheeses, meats, amazingly delicious cauliflower (who knew?), substantial main dishes, and of course, desserts!

Being Eastern European, the restaurant also has an extensive selection of vodkas, and once we spotted the Peanut Butter & Jelly Vodka, we knew we had to do a shot.  Or two.

Dear lord it was amazing.  I seriously need to find this PB&J vodka in stores.

Then on Saturday – my Australian birthday – I rented out the big back room of a local trendy pizza joint not too far down the road.

Mad Pizza played host to me and 50 of my closest friends in Australia.  It’s amazing to me that I’ve been here just a smidge over three years and had 50 people at a party.  What’s even more amazing is that I had invited just over 60 people.  And even more amazing is that those 60 people were the short list – weeded down from a larger group of people that I’ve become friendly with in this country.

The group included the gays, the Jews, the gay Jews, some co-workers, a handful of Americans, and a cluster of others that I’ve met randomly along the way and have grown quite fond of since arriving down under.  Salads and pizzas and drinks and tiramisu and a super cute waiter to look at and a sneaky tequila shot later, the night was over and I went home to slumber in my old age.  I said no gifts, but a few cheeky friends refused to show up empty handed.  The majority of the gifts involved chocolate in some form or another, and I’m slightly embarrassed to admit that the stash didn’t last too long.

So, what’s on the agenda for 30?  Well, now that I’m getting old, I think bread with more fiber is in order, as is shampoo for thinning hair.  But on a more positive note, travel will be the big focus this trip around the sun.  I plan to cross at least 7 items off my list of 103 things.  As birthday gifts to myself, I booked flights up to Cairns – home of the Great Barrier Reef – for a week with my sister when she comes out to visit, and a bigger, longer, and more expensive flight to Helsinki toward the end of the year.  I’ve always had a fascination with Scandinavia, and I couldn’t be more stoked to be spending a few days in Finland.  After a stop in Estonia, I’ll be heading to Russia to meet up with my high school friend Lenora.  We’ll ride the Trans-Siberian Railway across from St Petersburg to Moscow and on to Irkutsk before turning south for a few days in Mongolia.  And, just for good measure, I think I’ll book in an extra-long layover in Seoul for the way back.  Long weekend trips to Canberra, Brisbane, and maybe even Singapore are in the works, and I’ve had my eye on New Zealand for some time now too.

Aside from my extensive travel, thirty will hopefully be filled with more friends, more fun, and probably more pizza.  A lottery win wouldn't hurt either (all this travel is breaking the bank!)  And maybe a little bit of dirty too.

But only because it rhymes.  I like rhymes.