Milk is big in Australia. Really big. Maybe it’s because there are so many cows here (Australia is the world’s biggest beef exporter). Or maybe it’s because Australians have historically been a short people and they really want to their bones to be strong so they can grow taller. Or maybe it’s because Australians want to get revenge on cows for their embarrassing disappearing act back in the 1700’s (the first cows brought to Sydney managed to break free from their pens in the middle of the night and they weren’t found until decades later when Australians finally carved a route from Sydney over the Blue Mountains and into the interior of Australia… the first thing those explorers saw on the other side were cows grazing in the meadows). Whatever the reason, milk is big. And parents will do anything to get their children to drink milk. And for those stubborn kids who don’t like the taste of milk… well, there’s the perfect solution:
I’ve seen a lot of weird things in Australian supermarkets, but the wide variety of flavoured milks is by far one of the most noteworthy. It’s not just one company that makes flavoured milk – I’ve counted at least ten. You’re probably thinking that it isn’t that strange – mainly because you probably had tons of chocolate and strawberry flavoured milk as a kid in the US. And while that is true, chocolate and strawberry flavours are just the tip of the iceberg here.
Chocolate not enough for you? Try Double Chocolate, or even Chocolate Mint flavoured milk. Are you really into desserts but don’t really like chocolate? Don’t fear: you can pick up a bottle or two of Cookies & Cream, Vanilla Malt, or Caramel Swirl flavoured milk. Were you a strawberry milk fanatic as a kid? Yes, Strawberry milk is readily available, but have you tried Mango flavoured milk? How about Tropical Berries? Banana? Banana & Honey? And they give them cool names too… like Smooth Banana or Banana Buzz. How much fun is this?!?!?
And milk isn’t just for kids anymore. There are some treats for the coffee-enthusiast adults too! How about trying some varieties of flavoured milk such as Iced Coffee, Strong Iced Coffee, Double Strength Iced Coffee, Mocha, Café Latte, Espresso, Double Espresso, Premium Blend Espresso, Caramel Latte, or Cappuccino?
Looking for something a bit different? How about Honeycomb flavoured milk? Want a little kick with that? Try the Chocolate Honeycomb. And for a bizarre trip of the tongue, they even have Spearmint.
Just when you thought it couldn’t get any weirder: there’s Egg Nog flavoured milk for Christmas!
With all of these options to choose from, it’s no wonder that Australians drink more flavoured milk than any other people on the planet.
I decided to have a little milk tasting one night to see what it was all about. I picked up six different flavours of milk across four different brands, and my housemates were the guinea pigs that gave me feedback. The results were as follows:
Chocolate Mint: tastes sort of like paint, or toothpaste.
Vanilla Malt: tastes just like a milkshake!
Honeycomb: smells just like the very popular honeycomb candy here in Australia (an almost buttery smell); tastes “completely artificial.”
Mocha: tastes like a chocolate thickshake.
Iced Coffee: tastes “no good”, and a bit bitter.
Strawberry: tastes different than the Nesquik powder that is popular in the US; it tastes more like children’s medicine.
Check out the ingredients – this really is just flavoured milk:
And look who got in on the action:
Why aren’t they expanding this into the US???
And what happens when your kids just want every flavour under the sun? You can always just buy a bunch of regular old milk and then buy a variety of flavouring straws to go with them – thus saving space in your fridge and preventing all those bottles of milk from going sour before the little shits can drink them.
The flavouring straws come individually wrapped and contain little flavouring pellets.
You can see an up close view here:
The pellets dissolve into the milk as you drink through the straw, leaving a virtually empty straw at the end:
I was feeling a bit adventurous one night, so I stuck one of the chocolate flavouring straws into a glass of Vanilla Malt flavoured milk.
The results: delicious!