The Amazon & The Erotic Palm

My final new stop of the entire gap year (nooooo!) was the Amazon!  Not just confined to Brazil, the Amazon actually stretches across nine countries, including Peru, and oddly enough, France (I’m not joking).  After being high up in the Andes for the past two weeks, it was refreshing to get back down to an altitude with oxygen.  It was a quick flight from Cusco to Puerto Maldonado, our gateway to the Amazon.  Looking out the window, the scenery rapidly changed:  the mountains just stopped and all of a sudden there was thick green jungle.  It was an incredible transition.

Our flight landed in Puerto Maldonado and we boarded a bus to a little dock to hop on a boat down the Tambopata River, which is a tributary of the Madre de Dios River, which itself merges with another tributary to become another river all together, which then flows into the Amazon River, and eventually into the Atlantic Ocean.  Our lodge was lovely – despite being super hot and humid outside, we had no air conditioning.  The rooms actually cooled down quite well at night and the “windows” were big screens – letting fresh air circulate in while keeping the insane amount of bugs out.  We only had two days to explore this tiny little slice of the Amazon and nearly everything we did revolved around the flora and fauna.

A few highlights of my time in the Amazon:

Caiman-spotting night cruise:

Caimans are smaller cousins of alligators and crocodiles, though smaller doesn’t mean cuter and I’d still be deeply terrified if I saw one anywhere near me.  We saw white caimans during our time in the Amazon, though black caimans also exist there.  Our first caiman spotting was on the initial boat ride to our lodge during the daytime, but the next night we took a boat ride down the river with the explicit purpose of spotting more caimans at night.  We saw some adults as well as little baby caimans which were about the size of burritos.  Yummy!

Night walk and bugs:

Our first night including a guided night walk through the jungle.  It was just a small trail that extended out from the lodge so it was perfectly safe and not as scary as “walking through the jungle at night” sounds.  It was here that we saw various insects including leaf cutter ants, bullet ants, a golden silk spider, an owl butterfly (so named because the design on its wing looks like the eye of an owl), stick insects, hunting spiders, crickets, and the wandering spider.  The next day, we also saw the chicken spider tarantula.  That’s what our guide called it so I’m just going with it.  His name was Elvis (the guide, not the spider) so the whole experience was meant to be a little crazy I think.  Elvis poked a stick into the spider’s hole to lure it out.  Not at all crazy.  We also saw a big ass beetle and the skeleton of a spider that had been killed by wasps, just like the ones I learned about previously in Costa Rica.

Day walk with a penis tree:

Our morning walk took us through some trails further up the river.  It was here that we learned a lot about the local plants.  My favourite plant was the “penis tree” or “erotic palm” so-called because of its dildo-like roots that shoot out from the base above the ground.  Hehe!  We saw several strangler figs, which I had seen in other parts of the world as well.  The kapok was a less funny tree with a fibrous cotton-like substance in the seed.  The tallest we saw was about 45 metres but they can grow up to 60 metres in height.  The local custom is to walk around the large base of the tree three times:  once for health, once for love, and once for money.  I walked around three times but it didn’t work.  I feel fatter than ever after spending six weeks in the USA and not having gone to a gym in well over a year.  I’m still single as usual and my bank account is slowly draining (I need a job fast!)  Our day walk also consisted of a jaunt around Lago Condenado (“condemned lake” in English).  The lake is an oxbow lake, the arc of a winding river that has been cut off from the main river.  It will eventually dry up, hence the name.  I had a moment of unleashing my inner geology nerd and I’m sure the rest of the group was just like “shut up now please but do still be on our trivia team”.

Birds birds birds:

If you’ve been following my travels and looking at my pictures, you’ll notice that I’ve taken a lot of pictures of birds along the way.  This is because of James, a young Englishman I met on my first Africa tour.  James seems cool at first, but he’s actually a huge bird nerd, and he spread his bird nerdiness around to the rest of our safari group.  In Zambia we are all like “Whatever, James”, but then by Cape Town we were all like “Did you see that fucking bird?!?!? So cool!”.  So, yeah, thanks James for destroying twenty seemingly cool people.  Anyway, the whole point is that I saw a shit ton of birds in the Amazon.  The red and green macaw was colourful like Christmas, and the mealy parrot (the largest of the Amazon parrots) wasn’t disappointing either.  We saw a lovely photogenic white-winged swallow, an ugly vulture, and an even uglier bird:  the hoatzin.  The hoatzin is more colloquially known as the “stinky bird” because its particular leafy diet gives it a bad smell which therefore makes it unappetizing to eat which means it has no natural predators.  So this ugly ass bird is basically the lion of the Amazon.  The birding highlight, however, was an AMAZING juvenile crested owl sitting on a branch only a few metres from where our group was walking.  My university’s mascot is the owl so I made sure to snap a great close-up photo of this beauty.

At the lodge:

The lodge itself has an array of wildlife for viewing pleasure.  Our guides began calling us all over one afternoon to see two species of monkeys just swinging around in the trees next to the dining room.  The red howler monkeys were everywhere, but I think the saddle-back tamarins are way cuter.  There were quite a few common lizards running around.  Their colouring – bright green body and tail with a brownish-grayish head – was anything but common.  We chopped some brazil nuts which led to the appearance of some brown agoutis hoping to have a little snack.  They are decent-sized rodents but actually super cute – not ugly and scary like mice and rats… and squirrels.

Elsewhere in the Amazon:

If we thought the brown agouti was a large rodent, then the capibara was a shocking surprise.  The largest rodent in the world, the capibara is as big as your good-sized dog.  Ewwww!  Surprisingly, they actually look super cute!  We also saw beautiful butterflies licking salt out of the eyes of turtles (so cool!), fruit bats, and tapir tracks.  The tapir is a big mammal related to nothing really, but closest to horses, donkeys, zebras, and rhinos, though it looks sort of like a pig crossed with an aardvark.  I was hoping to see a tapir on the trip, but I had to settle for its footprints.  Sadness.

I do plan on getting back to the Amazon one day, with one trip to the Brazilian Amazon, and one trip to cover the Amazon in Guyana, Suriname, and French Guiana (that pesky part of France that is actually in South America).

And that’s it.  That’s the gap year.  Mostly.  We flew back to Lima from Puerto Maldonado.  After one more day in Lima, I flew back to my hometown in Florida.  Despite doing a mini-tour of Texas and Florida back in January and February at my halfway point, I still hadn’t seen many of my friends in four years (I’m a neglectful American).  So, the final journey of the gap year was a grand tour of the USA.  But first, let me take a selfie.

To see more photos of my time in the Amazon, follow this link:

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Cusco, Machu Picchu, & the Inca Trail

Undoubtedly the highlight of Peru, and one of the highlights of the entire gap year, was the Cusco region, including Machu Picchu and the Inca Trail.  The first thing tourists notice about Cusco:  its flag is super gay.  It’s the same rainbow as the gay pride flag except it has a seventh stripe of sky blue.  This previously caused some problems in conservative Peru, with some calling for the city to change its flag because too many tourists were thinking the area was just one big gay-friendly jizz fest.  But, most have finally gotten over it and the traditional flag has remained.  I like it.

A few highlights of my time in and around Cusco:

Cusco:

The tourist centre of the city is the Plaza de Armas with its statue of Pachacuti displayed prominently in the centre of the square.  Pachacuti was the ninth Inca king.  He had 200 children.  His official motto was “Don’t hate the player; hate the game.”  Surrounding the plaza are several churches, including the main cathedral and the attached Iglesia del Triunfo.  The cathedral has an excellent videoguide that took me around the expansive building all the while providing immense detail about the structure, artwork, and history of the area.  This was definitely the best cathedral tour that I took in all of Latin America (and believe me, I saw plenty of cathedrals…)  My favourite part was an educational one, and probably the only cool thing I’ve ever learned about the Catholic religion.  Did you know that there’s a patron saint for women who want to marry?  There’s also a patron saint for men who want to rid themselves of these women.  AMAZING!

Also near the Plaza de Armas is the Museo Inka, though I visited that after doing the Inca Trail, Machu Picchu, and all of the other sites, so I quickly breezed through the collection.  Also nearby sits a prime example of an old Inca wall, stretching down one long alleyway known as the Lareto.   It leads to Qorikancha – Inca ruins located right in the city.  Sacsaywaman (pronounced to tourists as “sexy woman”) are another set of Inca ruins located on a hill above the city.  While we didn’t do a formal tour of those ruins, the site offers great views over the whole of Cusco.  There’s also a big statue of Jesus because… Catholicism.

Ccaccaccollo:

Best of luck to you in pronouncing the name of this place.  Ccaccaccollo is a small weaving community outside of Cusco.  There we stopped to learn how the women make wool from alpaca fur.  They use natural elements to dye the wool, including using imported eucalyptus from Australia to get a gray colour.  They had alpacas on site and I got to feed them!

Pisaq & Ollantaytambo:

These two sets of Inca ruins we visited on our way toward the start of the Inca Trail.  Pisaq features the typical Inca terraces along with interesting burial holes dug into the side of the adjacent mountain.  Ollantaytambo is a major tourist town and base camp for many who start the Inca Trail.  Though much of the ruins there are still under excavation, the Temple of the Water is mostly unearthed featuring various fountains and canals.  There are of course plenty of terraces, as well as a giant face carved into a nearby mountain and a colca – a cool place on the mountainside where the Inca could store potatoes and other crops for 20 or even 30 years.  The Pachamama Stone – a large rock at the site – has crystals inside to capture energy from the sun.  When you touch it, you get the energy from the rock.  I desperately needed the energy for the next day’s challenge!

Inca Trail:

Most tourists to Machu Picchu take the train from Cusco or Ollantaytambo to the most famous of the Inca ruins.  I, however, wanted the full experience, so I booked early and secured one of the very limited spots on the Inca Trail.  The four-day hike sounded daunting:  camping is the only option, bathrooms are rudimentary, showers are mostly non-existent, and the elevation gain can be more-than-challenging on some days, including over one kilometre of elevation gain on day 2 alone.  Oxygen levels are lower and altitude sickness is a major concern.  Luckily, our tour gradually increased in altitude from Lima to Nazca to Arequipa and the highest stop at Puno, so I had ample time to adjust.  I figured now was the time to do it – while I’m still relatively young.  There’s also the threat of the Peruvian government closing down the Inca Trail and access to Machu Picchu as years of tourism has taken a bit of a toll on the ruins.  I wanted to make sure I got in while the getting was good.

I was prepared the best I could be:  plenty of water, Gatorade, rehydration tablets, medicines, snacks, a poncho, walking sticks, and various layers of clothing to adjust to the changing climate (and thank god I brought that – it went everywhere from hot and sunny to cold and rainy).  The tour company provided tents and meals, and plenty of cooks and porters to bring the heavy stuff along the trail for us.  The porters were fucking ridiculous:  the ranged in age from 20 to their 60’s and they could carry up to 25kg (over 50lbs) of stuff in a big sack on their back while doing the trail in half the time as the gringos.  These men should be Olympians.  Half of them were wearing sandals too!  WTF???  They are MACHINES.  The cooks made delicious meals despite having to cook in a tent.  It was insane.

Despite being showed up by 60 year-old men, I actually did quite well on the Inca Trail.  Let’s be honest, I’m not the most fit of the bunch, but years of treating my body like crap has made it able to survive and prosper in harsh conditions.  At least that’s what I’m telling myself.  I was relatively quick on the up parts, though fairly slow on the down parts due to me not wanting to hurt my dodgy knee.  I am old.  Rain on the afternoon of day 1 and morning of day 2 was annoying (it hadn’t rained in months!) but the sun came out in all its glory on days 3 and 4.

Day 1 was the easiest of the days – relatively flat and with stops at various archeological sites including Llactapata.  The locals also had little stands along the way to provide some very expensive provisions.  Thank god I stocked up in advance!

Day 2 was the highest day with a steep climb up to Dead Woman’s Pass.  At a whopping 4,215 metres above sea level, the pass is 1,115 metres higher than our start point that day.  It was a tough climb up, but rewarding at the end.  The rain stopped, the views were great, and I totally felt like Rocky after climbing all those steps.

Day 3 featured the Runcuracay ruins and Runcuracay Pass where we placed wishing stones on the mountain.  We also visited ruins at Sayacmarca, Phuyupatamarka, and Intipata, along with various old Inca messenger stations along the way.  Our lunch stop was near another smaller pass and it was beautiful – overlooking a valley and actually above the clouds!  Llamas wandered through our lunch site and I got some great photos of them.  Walking to the campsite from the terraces at Intipata, I had the pleasure (along with Lenora and another girl from our trip) of witnessing a llama block the trail off and proceed to squat down to take care of some business.  And yes, I got a selfie with a llama taking a shit and piss.  ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!

Day 4 began at… 4am.  Ouch.  We climbed another pass up to the Sun Gate where we were surprised by an incredible view of Machu Picchu.  Though we arrived just after sunrise, the sun had yet to climb high enough to get into the valley, and we got to see the whole Machu Picchu site be slowly illuminated a short time later.

Machu Picchu:

After about another hour of hiking, we were down in the valley and at Machu Picchu.  The once-important city of the Incas featured various ruins, including the main temple, the Temple of the Earth, the Temple of the Sun, the Temple of the Three Windows, a quarry, an urban area where people lived, and Intihuanatana – a stone structure likely used by astronomers to predict the solstice.  This is a rare survivor of colonial times because the Spanish destroyed most of these things.

Machu Picchu is one of my 103 Things, and I was super stoked to check it off my list.  Going into the trip, I thought the Inca Trail was all about getting to Machu Picchu and that Machu Picchu would be the culminating highlight of the journey.  But I must say:  the actual Inca Trail was more of a highlight.  It was up and down (literally) and featured so many other ruins and gorgeous landscapes along the way that Machu Picchu was more of a complement to the incredible journey than it was the star of the show.

After weeks of being at high altitude, after an amazing journey exploring one of the new world’s most prominent ancient civilizations, and after undoubtedly experiencing one of the best parts of my entire year, it was time to do something a little different.  So, off to the Amazon I went!  But first, let me take a selfie.

To see more photos of my time in and around Cusco, follow this link:

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From Arequipa to Titicaca (hehe!)

I cut off the last blog at Nazca.  After the nausea from the scenic flight subsided, our little group boarded an overnight bus and ended up a few thousand feet higher up in the Andes.  Why can’t I breathe?

A few highlights of my time in Peru… part 2:

Arequipa:

Though substantially smaller than Lima, Arequipa is Peru’s second largest city and one that I wish I had more time to explore.  With only 24 hours to play with, Lenora and I left the group and made our own way around the city on one of my classic “I must see everything” tours.  We started in the Plaza de Armas, where the city’s cathedral takes up one entire side of the square.  It’s the largest cathedral facade in Peru.  Nearby, the Museo Santuarios Andinos houses the famous Juanita – a mummy that was found high up on a mountaintop in the Andes, nearly perfectly preserved by the freezing cold temperatures.  We took the compulsory guided tour and learned about ancient cultures of Peru as well as plenty of details on the mummy herself.  Sadly, no cameras were allowed.  Finally, we hired a guide and walked around the Monasterio de Santa Catalina.  Big enough to be its own little city, the monastery used to house hundreds of nuns and operated for hundreds of years as a convent, school, church, shelter, and more.  A few nuns still live in the compound today, though we didn’t see any.  A short climb up the tower gave us great views of all of Arequipa below.

Vicuñas:

Outside of Arequipa, on our way to the town of Chivay, we pulled to the side of the road in the Reserva Nacional Salinas y Aguada Blanca to view a big ass group of vicuñas – the smallest camelids.  The vicuña is the little cousin of the llama and alpaca, and one of four camelids found in South America (the fourth being the guanaco, the largest of the lot found down in Patagonia).  Vicuñas are not domesticated like llamas and alpacas are, and locals must sneakily corner the animals in order to sheer them for their wool.  This only takes place once per year.  Incidentally, their wool is the finest of the camelids.  This combination makes for an expensive sweater.  A sweater made of alpaca wool could cost $400, but the same one made of vicuña wool would be thousands of dollars.

My highest point ever:

Also en route to the town of Chivay was the highest mountain pass that I’ve ever been over, making it my highest elevation ever.  The Mirador de los Andes rests at a prime 4,910 metres above sea level, or 16,109 feet.  That’s over half of the height at which some commercial airliners fly.  Oxygen levels are low, but luckily I had been on the coca tea that morning, was sucking on my coca candies, and was doing my best to stay hydrated.  Speaking of being hydrated, the Mirador de los Andes is home to the highest toilets in Peru.  That’s one for the record books.  Note:  I didn’t trust them so I didn’t use them.

Chivay:

The little town of Chivay was our base for our visit to Colca Canyon.  We did have a little time to wander around the town, where we checked out their local market full of colourful corn varieties, lots of potatoes, and plenty of dead alpacas ready to be cut up, cooked, and eaten.  Yummy.

Or not.

We went down to the nearby thermal baths for a dip in the warm waters.  It also happened to be the time of year for the largest of the Inca festivals, Inti Raymi, or the festival of the sun, celebrated near or on the summer solstice.  We watched the pre-festival activities and evening procession, though I was sadly too tired to go watch the big celebration and fireworks at night.  The elevation was knocking me out and I needed my sleep for the next day’s early start to…

Colca Canyon:

While not the widest canyon and not nearly as grand as the Grand Canyon, or even the Fish River Canyon that I visited earlier in the trip while in Namibia, Colca Canyon is one of the world’s longest and deepest canyons.  Our group took a short hike along the side, visiting various lookout points, but most of our time was spent at the super-touristy Mirador Cruz del Condor.  Its name comes from the fact that it’s quite easy to see Andean condors at the site.  The Andean condor is the world’s largest flying bird.  We probably saw around ten or twelve different birds which is apparently quite a lot for one day and one spot.  It was a bit unnerving being near them while walking down the paths.  The Andean condor is a scavenger, meaning it eats carcasses of animals that are already dead.  If the birds can’t find a carcass, they have been known to fly into smaller animals (like young cows) on the side of the cliff so that the prey loses its footing and falls to its death in the canyon below, providing some good eating for the shifty condors.  I don’t think they’d likely go after tourists, but still…

Maca:

Situated down in one end of the canyon, the little town of Maca is mostly deserted.  Devastating earthquakes that haunt the area destroyed the town two times, prompting the Peruvian government to relocate most of the residents to another town nearby.  A few residents refused to leave and remain in the town, taking care of their restored church building (paid for by a donation from the Spanish government) and mostly making their living from tourists who give a few soles to take a photo with a baby alpaca.  I took a selfie with a beautiful five-month-old alpaca named Mateo.  Awwww!

Puno:

The city of Puno has a few nice plazas and such, and plenty of tourist amenities like restaurants and cafes, but doesn’t really offer much in the way of attractions.  It does, however, serve as the launching off point for the world’s most hilariously named lake…

Lake Titicaca:

One of the world’s largest lakes, and arguably the world’s highest navigable lake, Lake Titicaca is certainly the funniest sounding lake (hehe!)  It would have been a fantastic day trip from Puno, but sadly turned into an awkward overnighter.

The lake is split between Peru and Bolivia, though we stayed only on the Peru side.  The edges of the lake are full of reeds, and local islas uros (aka floating villages) are built on these reeds.  We took a tour of one of the villages, got dressed up in their traditional garments, and even went for a ride on a traditional reed boat.  The village ladies happily serenaded us with “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” after we boarded.  That’s the only English they know.  We also stopped on Isla Taquile, one of the largest islands in the lake.  We did a hike up to the town and had a trout lunch high up on a hill overlooking the lake.

Our final stop was Luquina Chico for our overnight homestay.  Situated on a peninsula that juts into the lake, the local villagers house tourists for a bit of extra cash.  We played soccer with the locals, watched the sunset over the lake, and got dressed up yet again in their traditional garb.  Our little homestay was basic with a family of farmers.  The family grow potatoes and raise sheep.  We witnessed one of their chickens lay an egg.  Exciting!  The family didn’t speak much Spanish (they speak the local Aymara language) so the whole thing was a bit awkward.  We were tasked with helping to herd the sheep in the morning, but seeing as we couldn’t really communicate with their daughter who was in charge of that job, we mostly just watched her.  I asked her a few questions in my basic Spanish, but it quickly became clear to me that my Spanish was far more advanced than hers.  Eeek!

From Lake Titicaca (hehe!) we headed a bit north to the old Inca capital and the current tourism capital of Peru:  Cusco.  More on that in the next installment.  But first, let me take a selfie.

To see more photos of my time in and around Arequipa and Colca Canyon, follow this link:

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To see more photos of my time in and around Puno and Lake Titicaca, follow this link:

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Lima, Lots of Bird Poop, & the Nazca Lines

I’ve already discussed the food and a brief introduction to Peru in the last blog, so I’m just going to jump right in.

A few highlights of my time in Peru… part 1:

Lima:

My tour of Peru both started and ended in Lima.  I had about two and a half days in the beginning and one day at the end, which I think was sufficient to see the main sights and do some souvenir shopping.  Lima is an interesting city.  Much of the city is big, poor, and dangerous for tourists.  Traffic is terrible and mass transit is useless.  But the hub of tourism – the Miraflores neighbourhood – is swanky swanky swanky.  It feels like a scene right out of the nice parts of Miami.  Perfectly safe to walk around even at night, my accommodation and most of my meals were located in Miraflores and the adjacent neighbourhoods.

I visited the historical centre of the city, exploring the catacombs beneath the Monasterio de San Francisco and Lima’s cathedral, where the remains of Francisco Pizarro are buried.  Pizarro was the Spanish conquistador who conquered the Inca empire.  He had been buried there for ages, but in 1977 another set of bones was found during excavations and DNA testing proved that the newly found bones were actually Pizarro’s bones.  The bones were switched out.  Not at all a hot mess…

Lima doesn’t disappoint in the museum arena.  The Museo de Arte de Lima (oddly shortened to MALI) houses a great and not-too-overwhelming collection of mostly older artifacts and artworks spanning the history of Peru.  Further away from the centre of the city, the Museo Larco  is a massive private collection of artifacts of the ancient cultures of Peru.  The main draw:  the Erotic Gallery, featuring all sorts of sculptures, vessels, and more depicting penises, vaginas, and all sorts of sexual acts.  The ancient Peruvians – Inca, Nazca, and the rest – were a kinky peoples.

The Circuito Magico de Agua is an awesome fountain, music, and light show.  It cost 4 soles – less than $2 – and was by far the best fountain, music, and light show I’ve seen – even better than the one in glittering Dubai.  The Choco Museo – a chain of chocolate restaurants and shoppes (each with a small museum inside) around Latin America – has a location in Lima and we decided to finish off our travels with a chocolate making class.  Yummy!  And fatty!  Lima also had plenty of souvenir shopping, though I bought the majority of my souvenirs in Cuzco.  Details to follow.

Paracas:

A few hours south of Lima lies Paracas – a small coastal town with two claims to fame.  The first is a giant geoglyph in the shape of a Candelabra carved into a hillside in the desert just down the coast.  Archeologists are unsure of its origin, but many believe it is likely related to the Nazca Lines.  A bit further out are the Islas Ballestas.  Though uninhabited by humans, this island group is inhabited by any and every type of bird you can think of:  penguins, boobies, terns, cormorants, pelicans, seagulls, oystercatchers, vultures, and more.  The birds practically cover the islands like carpet.  With that many birds in the area and that many birds flying overhead, it felt like an Alfred Hitchcock movie.  I was also concerned about getting pooed on.  Speaking of poo, the island’s main industry is guano mining.  The bird shit builds up and up and up, and every few years humans come over and mine it for fertilizer.  We also saw sea lions and so much krill that parts of the water looked red.

The only other attraction in Paracas is an odd “museum” that we went to.  Our group entered an elevator with seats in it, which then took us up and down showing us various dioramas of life in the area.  The entrance is through a restaurant.  The whole thing is mind-blowingly odd.  I’m also unsure of just how safe it is…

Ica:

Our group stopped in the town of Ica on the way from Paracas to Nazca.  There, we visited a Pisco winery – a type of brandy made by distilling wine.  We did a sampling and then realized that we hadn’t had lunch yet.  Who’s ready to party?  Not far down the road is the Huacachina Oasis – an actual oasis in the desert.  These things actually exist!  Who knew???  Giant sand dunes surround the whole area, but this little spot has a lake and lush vegetation all around it.  It is quite built-up with tourist accommodation and restaurants and adventure sports like sandboarding.  I decided to just have lunch and watch the topless men try to walk the tightrope that was installed over the lake.

Nazca:

Home of the famous Nazca Lines, this is definitely the most mysterious site that I’ve visited on my gap year.  Giant lines and figures are carved into the desert and they weren’t discovered until the 1960’s when someone took the first flight over the area.  They are believed to have been carved by the ancient Nazca people (before the Incas) as a way to appease the gods during a great drought which brought the downfall of their civilization.  There are plenty of straight lines carved into the earth as well as a series of trapezoids.  But more elaborate figures are the showstoppers here:  a whale, monkey, spiral, dog, hummingbird, condor, spider, parrot, heron, and more.  There’s even an astronaut!  Well, it’s not quite an astronaut but it sort of looks like an astronaut so that’s how it’s called these days.  Carvings of a tree and a pair of hands are visible from a viewing platform, but the rest are only visible from the air on scenic flights.  We had a tiny 8 seater plane and just like my tiny sightseeing plane in Botswana, I was moments away from spewing uncontrollably.  The plane rotated almost 90 degrees to the left to give that side a good view, and then 90 degrees to the right to give the other side a good view.  And that happened for every geoglyph that we saw.  I’m getting too old for this shit.

The Nazca people are famous for more than just the Nazca Lines, though the lines do steal the show.  Our group visited a pottery workshop where old Nazca pottery is restored for museums, and new pottery is made for tourists.  Just like in the gallery in Lima, there was plenty of erotic pottery on display for tourists to buy.  More impressive was the Chauchilla Cemetery which features a remarkable collection of mummies from the Nazca era.  Grave robbers took a lot of the relics in the past, but guards now protect the site and plenty of remains are still on display.  Finally, Cahuachi is believed to be the most important Nazca site and was only discovered relatively recently.  The pyramids at the site are currently being excavated.  It was interesting to see how similar styles stretched down to South America from ancient Mexico and Central America, but to be honest, these aren’t nearly as impressive as the Aztec pyramids at Teotihuacan.

My tour of Peru continued from Nazca up into the highlands of the Andes, starting with Peru’s second largest city and onto the world’s most hilariously named lake.  You can guess it.  More about those locations in the next installment.  But first, let me take a selfie.

With Denise and Lenora at our chocolate-making class!

To see more photos of my time in Lima, follow this link:

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To see more photos of my time in Paracas, Ica, and Nazca, follow this link:

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Intro to Peru, Peruvian Cuisine, & an Alcoholic Drag Queen

The final new country of my gap year: Peru.  The fabulous Lenora – my eternal friend and regular travel companion – again joined me for this leg of the tour.  Peru is unlike many of the other Latin American countries I had visited in that it has a high percentage of indigenous people.  While a few other countries have higher, I mainly stayed in the capital cities in those places so I didn’t get to see as much indigenous culture as I would have liked.  Being at the end of my time in Latin America, my Spanish was getting pretty decent, and I was surprised to find that it was almost useless in some places in Peru where the local Quechua and Aymara languages are much more common.

Despite having a similar amount of time as in Colombia and in Chile, I feel like I saw a LOT more of Peru, mainly because I was on an organized tour which whisked me, Lenora, and seven other random travellers around the southern half of the country.  We started along the coast in Lima before moving into the desert, the snowy Andes, and the Amazon rainforest.  Every day was something new.  The elevation in parts of the country was ridiculous – more so than in Colombia or Ecuador – and I had to actively fight off altitude sickness by staying super hydrated, drinking coca tea, and mostly abstaining from alcohol.

Also, Peru wins the award for worst driving in Latin America.  It wasn’t as bad as most of Asia, but it could give a few of those countries a run for their money.

I usually finish off blogs for any particular country with a talk about the food, but I’m defying the trend here and starting with the good stuff.  Mainly because the one question I keep getting asked is: “Did you eat guinea pig???”

The answer:  Yes, yes I did.  Come on – I’ve eaten worms and ants on this trip so why say no to guinea pig?  Cuy asado (roasted guinea pig) is a popular dish so I had to try it once.  Luckily, one was ordered for our whole group to share so I didn’t have to eat a whole one (or pay for a whole one) by myself.  It came out whole just like I expected and it looked gross just like I expected.  I got a leg piece.  I could see its tiny little foot with its tiny little claws on my plate.  I had a few bites, but there wasn’t too much meat on it.  Maybe it tasted like chicken, but I’m not entirely sure.  It’s hard to determine the taste when you know exactly what you’re eating.

Alpaca is another common meat for tourists to try.  And only tourists.  Locals don’t eat alpaca.  It’s sort of like Fosters in Australia:  nobody knows where to even get it but tourists manage to find it, drink it, and think it’s cool.  Anyway, I had alpaca meat cooked a variety of ways.  Some of the more interesting meals I had were alpaca ravioli, alpaca meatball pizza, and – the best – an alpaca burger.

Breaking away from the weird animals, a lot of the meals I had were pretty basic and pretty similar to other Latin American foods, mainly consisting of grilled chicken with rice or French fries.  While there are some very typical Peruvian foods, the locals (especially those outside the cities) really only have access to the basics.  We made fried bread during our homestay at Lake Titicaca.  It was sort of like a sopapilla.  Aside from this bread, the other bread we had almost everywhere around the country wasn’t all that great.  Another great thing we had in the homestay was fried cheese.  It was almost like haloumi and when I asked what type of cheese it was, I was told it was just “fried cheese”.  I’m ok with that.  Rice is common, and quinoa is a very popular grain as well, often cooked into a soup.  They eat lots of vegetables, and lots of corn.  There are dozens of types of corn available.  If you think that seems excessive then let me share this bit of information with you:  Potatoes.  Lots of potatoes.  There are something like 4,000 types of potatoes grown in the Andes of Peru.  FOUR THOUSAND.  So, basically, in summation:  fuck you, Idaho.

Potato is the main ingredient in the causa – a big chunk of peeled, cooked potato with toppings like chicken and vegetables.  I think this is their equivalent to the baked potato in the USA, but obviously without all of the butter and cheese and bacon and other things that transform a somewhat basic and healthy food into an artery-clogging masterpiece.

Trout is a common fish in the country and is abundant thanks to it being introduced into Lake Titicaca.  I tried my first ceviche in Peru.  Most ceviche includes shellfish which is a no no for me, but trout ceviche is quite common and Phill-approved.

My absolute favourite dish in Peru is aji de gallina.  I had my fist aji de gallina in Santiago, Chile (Peruvian food is super popular in Chile) and I thought I was going to die from how heavy the dish was.  It’s a chicken dish served with huancaina sauca, a spicy, creamy, thick yellow sauce, over rice.  Some of the fancier tourist restaurants play with the recipe and make it into a fusion dish, such as aji de gallina ravioli, but the traditional aji de gallina is delicious without the gimmicks.  The aji de gallina in Peru didn’t seem as heavy as in Chile, which means that either it was cooked more authentically or I was just getting used to it.

Every meal deserves a drink, and I had a few good ones.  Inca Kola is a popular soda, but it is too sweet for me (how old am I???)  It sort of reminds me of a mix of bubble gum flavour and Mountain Dew.  Mate Inca is a tea that helps with altitude sickness, as is coca tea – made from the same leaves that are processed to make cocaine.  Apparently I’ll probably fail a drug test now that I had a lot of the tea, but it doesn’t have any effect like cocaine when you chew the leaves, drink the tea, suck on the coca-infused candies, or eat the coca-infused biscuits and chocolates.  Pisco Sour is a common cocktail made from pisco – a brandy made by distilling wine.  Every city seems to have its own beer, but I had only two of them during my time in Peru:  the Arequipeña (from Arequipa) and Cusqueño (from Cusco).  Very creative naming.  Finally, my favourite is chicha morada, which aside from being a fermented purple corn drink, would also be a great name for a drag queen.  And just like the drag queen, the chicha morada drink can be alcoholic or not.

For fruits, I tried a granadilla which is reminiscent of a passionfruit but sort of looks like a cross between a red apple and an orange and a coconut.  Or something like that.  Lucuma is a popular tropical fruit that tastes like caramel and therefore I only consumed it in milkshake and ice cream form.  And speaking of dessert, I have two words for you:  queso helado.  It translates to “cheese ice cream” but it was not cheese ice cream.  It’s only called that because it looks like cream cheese.  It is actually flavoured with honey and cinnamon and happiness and is a specialty of Arequipa.

Finally, it wasn’t all about Peruvian food, but it sort of was.  Peru has a large amount of both Chinese and Japanese immigrants and their cuisines have evolved and merged with Peruvian cuisine.  Chifa is the name for Chinese-Peruvian cuisine which consists of a lot of stir-fried noodles and rices.  I had a lot of this.  Nikkei is the Japanese-Peruvian cuisine but I had a ton of sushi in Chile and was sort of out of the mood for this in Peru.  Sad.  Of course I had Mexican food, which was decent in Lima, but everywhere else insisited on making tortilla chips out of wontons.  WTF?  Peruvians:  you are surrounded by dozens of types of corn and you make Mexican-style chips out of wontons?  Ugh.  I guess the Asian influence extends deeper into Peruvian cuisine than I thought.   Last (literally our last meal in Peru) but certainly not least:  CREPES & WAFFLES!  I had it in Panama and Colombia and Chile, and I got to go to Crepes & Waffles one last time in Peru.  I had my favourite Mexican chicken crepe and Colombian coconut lemonade, and got a sweet manjar blanco (Peru’s version of dulce de leche) waffle for dessert.  YESSSSSS!!!!

Ok, that’s all for the introduction and food.  Next up, details of my travels around Peru.  But first, let me take a selfie.

I took a selfie with a 5-month old alpaca named Mateo.  What cool things have you done with your life? That’s what I thought.

Links to more photos of my time in Peru will follow in the next blogs.

Easter Island (Rapa Nui)

I don’t even know where to start.  Every time I blog, I first go through all my notes and pictures and make an outline to help me draft my entry.  Of all of the blogs I’ve written on this trip, this outline is by far the longest.  Funny enough, the place I’m writing about is the tiniest of the places on my gap year.  So, I’m just going to get into it.  There’s a lot to cover.

Easter Island – famous for its large statues called “moai” sitting on their platforms called “ahu” – is known as Isle de Pascua in Spanish and Rapa Nui in the local Polynesian language.  Rapa Nui is not, however, the original name for the island.  Its original name in the local language is actually a longer name that means “naval of the world”.

Rapa Nui is part of Chile, but it is anything but Chilean.  Not that Chilean is a bad thing, but Rapa Nui is just not Latin American in the least bit.  It’s Polynesian – just like Tahiti, New Zealand, and Hawaii.  Rapa Nui sits at the southeastern corner of the Polynesian Triangle that spreads across the Pacific Ocean and is considered a part of Oceania rather than South America.  While its closest major landmass is indeed South America, it’s actually a six-hour flight from the nearest airport:  Santiago.  This makes the airport on Rapa Nui the world’s most remote.  The fact that Rapa Nui is part of Chile seems like an accident of history.  The island was first settled by a Polynesian king from a nearby island well over a thousand years ago.  I use the term “nearby” extremely loosely as the Polynesians were excellent seafarers and would have travelled at least two and a half thousand kilometres in wooden boats just to get here.  There’s even evidence that the Polynesians interacted with the Inca of Peru.  Whether the Inca travelled to Rapa Nui or the Rapa Nui people travelled to the Inca empire is unknown.

The Dutch were the first Europeans to discover the island in 1722.  It was Easter Sunday when they first set eyes on the landmass, so they named it Easter Island and that name has stuck.  The Dutch arrived to find the island in a bit of disarray.  Historians and anthropologists believe that the tiny island became overpopulated – possibly with as many as 15,000 or maybe even 25,000 inhabitants (there are currently only about 7,000 people there including seasonal workers).  This overpopulation led to competition for food, land, and other resources, which then led to intertribal war between the Rapa Nui people.  The Dutch explorers estimated that the population of the island was only 2,000 – 3,000 when they arrived.  As part of the war, the massive moai statues that surrounded the island were toppled down one by one during the conflict.  A passing French ship recorded the last standing moai – the largest – in 1838.  The island’s population was further decimated by a series of raids by Peruvians where they captured natives to be deported as slaves.

The English visited Easter Island, as did the Spanish, naming it San Cristobal Island.  Much of the island was privately owned by this time.  The island was annexed by Chile in 1888 and later leased to a British wool company which basically acted as the island’s government for many decades.  Chile came back into the picture in 1953.  The Rapa Nui people gained Chilean citizenship some time later and finally gained some level of autonomy as recently as 2010.  While economic dependence on Chile has quelled any push for independence, there are plenty of disputes between Rapa Nui and Chile, most notably those concerning land rights, tourism controls, and an influx of Chilean migrants.

Today, tourism is booming despite the cost and distance.  As mentioned before, all of the moai were toppled during the war, but many have now been raised and restored to their (almost) former glory.  The island has only one town – Hanga Roa – but I was easily able to venture outside the town and around the island in various different ways.  I did an organized tour one day, rented a bicycle another day, and rented a van with a group of people from my accommodation.

A few highlights of my time on Rapa Nui:

Camping hostel:

I stayed at a camping hostel.  It is a unique concept and executed very nicely.  I had my own little tent and there is very clean bathroom block and fully-equipped kitchen on the premises.  I also hung out mostly with some of the people that were on my flight (we all had shared transport from the airport).  There were six Chileans and one Peruvian and only one of them spoke a little English (but not too much).  It was good Spanish practice.  Hola Jean Carlos, Alexis, Elcira, Javier, y Lisette (y tus padres!)  Espero que ustedes estan leyendo este articulo con la ayuda de Google Translate!

Hanga Roa:

The little town has only a handful of attractions.  There are various maoi that have been restored within walking distance.  As the town is on the west side of the island, the coastal area where the moai are is a perfect place for watching sunset, which I did on three of my nights.  The pink and red colours were stunning.  The museum in town is exceptional and was a great starting point for my tour of the island.  It has a rare female moai on display, as well as excellent signage and displays on Polynesian culture (including something like a hangi dinner and many other similarities with New Zealand), geography, and wildlife (with several similar birds to the Galapagos).  The airport is right near town.  You may not know this but I’m an airplane and airport geek.  The runway was built long enough to be an emergency landing spot for the space shuttle and it was so eerie to see this long ass runway totally empty – not a plane in sight – after the daily flight came and went.  Also in town is a church and some fairly lacklustre souvenir markets.

Rano Raraku:

This archeological site was one of the first major sites I visited.  It’s actually a volcano and was the quarry where the giant moai were carved.  As the carving ceased during the war, the volcano exhibits many moai in different stages of construction – many still attached to the rock and not yet carved out of their initial spots.  This is the only place on the island where some moai were technically left standing – though they weren’t finished yet so it doesn’t quite count.  One of the moai that was a work in progress would have been the largest on the island had it been finished, coming in at 20.5 metres tall and likely weighing between 190 and 200 tonnes.  It is still attached to the volcano on its backside and was never lifted.  The inside of the crater features more moai being carved, which means they had to get these giant statues first out of the crater and then down to the coast.  How they did it back in the day is a guess, though many scientists have theories.

The site is also home to a seated moai.  The seated moai is super rare as there are only three.  Nobody knows if these are primitive moai or if these were more advanced at the end of the moai era just prior to the war.

Tongariki:

Quite possibly the most famous site on the island, Tongariki features fifteen restored, standing moai on one long ahu.  The tallest of the lot is 9 metres high and weighs 76 tonnes.  One of the moai even wears its topknot (possibly representing a hairstyle or hat).  The topknots are separate pieces that go on top of the heads and are carved out of a different volcanic rock.  The Japanese archeologists that restored the site did not want to put the topknots back on the moai as they had been badly eroded.  The local workers decided to take it upon themselves to use their big machinery after hours to reattach one of the topknots as they wanted to see what it would look like.  The archeologists discovered it the next morning and let it stay.

Aside from my organized tour here, I also went back super early the next morning with the hostel crew to watch sunrise over the giant statues.  It was here that I saw one of the most remarkable sights on the island:  a guy smoking weed while laying down and pitching a tent in his little shorts if you know what I mean.  Later, he began doing yoga, took off his shirt, and blasted music.  Terrible tourist.  But he was pretty hot.

Anakena:

This archeological site is actually on a gorgeous beach.  I went with my tour to learn about the history of the site.  The row of restored moai on the main ahu on the beach are the best preserved of any on the island because they were buried underneath the sand and thus protected from the elements.  They all still have their topknots and well-defined facial features.  Another moai further down the beach stands alone.  At 3 metres tall and 45 tonnes, the solo moai is shorter and wider than most of the others – leading experts to believe it is more primitive.  This moai is special because it was the first to be lifted back to a standing position in 1956.  Dubbed the “Norwegian experiment” (because it was led by a Norwegian team), it took 18 Rapa Nui men a total of 16 days to lift the statue without machinery.  It was an experiment – not a true restoration.  The first true restoration on the island was in 1960.

I also went back to Anakena beach the next day with my new friends to take a swim in the gorgeous Pacific waters and have lunch on the beach.

Te Pito Kura:

Another archeological site, Te Pito Kura hosts the tallest statue moved from the quarry – a 9.5 metre moai (12 metres if you include the topknot) weighing in at 88 tonnes.  It sits a distance of 7 km from the quarry.  How did these people move it?  This statue – being the tallest – was the one that was the last to be toppled during the war.  The site also includes the “magnetic rock”.  This large, smooth rock has a magnetic element and will mess with your compass.  Locals believe it has what they call “mana” – like a good life force – and that touching the rock can help you gain fertility or cure ailments.  Unfortunately, the rock has been walled off because some tourists are fuckwits.  I’m looking at you, aroused stoned topless yoga guy.  The local legend is that the first king brought the rock with him from his previous island, but scientists believe the rock is likely from Rapa Nui based on its composition.

Orongo:

The most unique site on the island consist, Orongo consists of a big ass volcano crater and ruins of the only religious ceremonial village on the island.  The village – built on the super steep volcanic rim – was built for the followers of the bird-man cult which dominated the island through the warfare time.  Part of the village ruins have been restored.  A small museum talks about the bird-man cult and the annual bird-man competition, were the Rapa Nui men would swim out to nearby islands and wait for migratory birds to lay their eggs.  The man who got the first egg won.  The islands are visible just offshore, though getting too close to the edge is scary given the 300 metre drop off from the rim of the volcano to the ocean below.

Other archeological sites:

I visited a few other sites on my organized tour and my day with the bicycle.  Akahanga is a site with a lot of toppled moai.  Vaihu also has toppled moai with scattered topknots and a circular ceremonial centre.  Vinapu features a wall built in the style of the Incas and provides some of the strongest evidence of encounters between these two ancient civilizations.

Pure sex:

Wait – did I just say “pure sex”?  I don’t know where that came from.  I meant to say “traditional dance show.”  Sorry.  On my first night, I went with my little group to the Kari Kari “Cultural Ballet”.  The show is sort of like the one I saw in the Maori village in New Zealand, and I imagine it’s not too far removed from a luau (I’ll get to Hawaii one day).  The only difference:  the Rapa Nui men are hot.  HOT.  FUCKING HOT.  Like, OMG HOT.  How have these men been kept a secret?  Now, I don’t recall the Maori in New Zealand being all that impressive, but that may be because a lot of them have rugby player builds and I’m just not into that.  But these men – these men were thin but toned.  They were sweating while they did their traditional dance.  Also, I saw balls.  BALLS!  Do you know why I saw balls?  Because these men were barely wearing anything at all.  No shirts.  No shorts.  Just little coverings on their man parts.  While some had underwear on underneath, at least one was freeballing under his little covering.  With all that dancing and all that flopping, the berries were bound to pop out to say hi.  I also saw buns.  Like, the back was a thong.  OMG.

One lucky bitch got pulled up from the audience and these gorgeous men all danced around her in a circle.  I hate her.  At the end, there were opportunities to take photos with the dancers.  Many of the men lined up to take pics with the lady dancers (yes, there were lady dancers in skimpy underwear and coconut bras but fuck if I was paying any attention to them…) and all the women were lining up to get pics with the male dancers.  I debated it, but it’s not as liberal as other places and I didn’t want to be that creepy gay guy.  In hindsight, fuck all that.  I should have done it.

All those men.  Polynesia has shot up my rankings.

Food:

Like everything else on the island, food is super expensive.  Unfortunately, that means I didn’t spring for one of the traditional Polynesian dinners which seem to be exclusively at the swankier places.  There are a handful of reasonably priced little restaurants on the island, and I did end up eating at the same few places more than once during my four days there.  The only real traditional food I ate was a poe – a banana brownie that has no chocolate.  It was good, but I was disappointed.  The guy said brownie so I was expecting at least some chocolate.  The poe can also be made with pumpkin or other fruit or vegetables… but not chocolate.  I also had a beer from the Mahina brewery which is local to Rapa Nui.

Transport:

I just want to say that my flights to and from Rapa Nui on LAN’s (Chile’s main airline) Boeing 787 Dreamliner were wonderful.  I had a window on the way in and got amazing views of the island on approach.  I also had the last row, which I chose because it was the only window seat available.  The last row was actually a 2-3-2 configuration rather than a 3-3-3.  I had a ton of extra legroom, a foot rest, more of a recline angle, room on the side of my seat where I could set my bag, and two tray tables (one on the chair in front of me and one in my armrest).  I could keep my laptop out during meal service.  The staff were super friendly in both English and Spanish and the food was pretty good too.  After that experience, I opted to choose the back row for the return leg too when I checked in.

I had originally thought that I wouldn’t need much time on Easter Island because it’s small and it’s basically just moai after moai of archeological sites, but there’s a lot I didn’t get to do:  a bunch of hiking, one whole side of the island, different beaches, and more.  Maybe I’ll go back one day or maybe I’ll opt to explore different Polynesian islands first.  Who knows.

After Easter Island, I headed back to Santiago for a few more days with Claudio before jetting off to my last new country of the gap year:  Peru.  But first, let me take a selfie.

To see more photos of my time in Easter Island, follow this link:

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Punta Arenas, Imported Ice, & Middle Chile

I took two proper side trips from Santiago while in Chile.  One of them – Easter Island – I booked months in advance because I really really really wanted to go.  Obviously.  The other, however, was a fairly last minute decision (as in, I think I booked flights about three or four days in advance).  Chile is a big country, and by big, I mean long.  LONGGG.  So there were many options in many different types of climates.  There was the desert up north at San Pedro de Atacama, but I figured I could more easily hit that up one day when I visit Bolivia, as it’s fairly close to the border.  There was Chiloe Island with its UNESCO-listed churches, but recent trouble in the local fishing industry has caused protests and a bit of upheaval, so I decided to skip that… for now.  Then, there was Punta Arenas.  At the bottom tip of Chile, in the beautiful region of Patagonia, lies this little city which is the gateway to some gorgeous national parks.  The only problem was:  the national parks – while technically do-able on day trips – are about a minimum 5 hour drive away – so better on overnight expeditions.  I only had 3 days to spare, so that wasn’t going to happen.  It was also verging on winter and not the best time of year to visit, though cheaper because it was pretty much the opposite of peak season.  Punta Arenas is known for its nearby penguin colonies, but those mostly clear out in March as the penguins migrate or feed or something. This was late May.  So, really not the best time to go.

But I went anyway.  Why?  Because I wanted to.  I’ve always wanted to travel to one of the Earth’s southernmost cities just to see what’s down there on the bottom.  Plus, I’ve discovered that I like the cold.  It’s nice and refreshing after being in so many disgusting hot climates on the trip.  Being late May, it was cold in Punta Arenas, but not snowy yet – so actually really lovely to walk around.  The city does have some sights itself and I did manage to swing one super cool day trip.  Overall, I am super pleased I went to Punta Arenas despite it being off season.  This was my Patagonia starter trip.  Next time I’ll definitely spend more time in both Chilean and Argentine Patagonia.

A few highlights of my time in Punta Arenas:

Museums:

Despite the city’s small size (roughly 127,000 people live there), it boasts quite a few good museums.  My favourite was the Museo Regional Salesiano Maggiorino Borgatello which is by far the largest and most comprehensive, both in name and contents.  It features displays on the history of Patagonia, stuffed local animals, and many other random relics of all aspects of Chilean and Patagonian culture.  I also really enjoyed the Naval Museum of Punta Arenas.  Here I learned about the country’s naval history (obviously) including much detail on the War of the Pacific (which Chile fought against Peru and Bolivia), lots of Antarctica stuff asserting Chile’s claim to part of it (they even have Antarctic ice on display in a glass freezer), and lots of historical information on Cape Horn (the southernmost part of the Americas which is surrounded by treacherous waters making it difficult and dangerous for passing ships).  Speaking of ships, the Nao Victoria Museum features a full-size replica of Ferdinand Magellan’s ship (the Nao Victoria) along with Darwin’s Beagle and the Ancud – the ship that claimed the region for Chile in 1843.  An excellent audio guide walks visitors through the ships and gives a plethora of history about the region, the boats, and the famed explorers.

Less interesting, but still interesting, was the Museo Regional de Magallanes which is housed inside the Braun-Menendez Mansion, which itself is an old Russian consulate.  The building is half museum, half preserved mansion, and is a great way to see how the rich and famous of Punta Arenas lived a hundred years ago.  The museum section is fine, but part of it was closed and I think the Museo Regional Salesiano does a better job.  Similarly, the Palacio Sara Braun is smaller and not as exciting as the Braun-Menendez Mansion, though the majority of the house has been turned into a swanky hotel and restaurant with only a handful of rooms still preserved as they were.

Finally, there was the Museo del Recuerdo which was quite possibly the worst museum of my gap year.  It’s basically a junkyard.  For real.  A big yard filled with old farming equipment which is supposed to be historical.  But not.  It also has a collection of old buildings on display but they are locked and not open to the public.  I walked 45 minutes to get there.  What a waste.

Monuments:

Punta Arenas is known for its monuments, and it has monuments for everything.  Monuments for firefighters.  Monuments for mermaids (I’m pretty sure).  A monument of a condor and one to the wind (seriously) and a monument to the discovery of oil and one that was a gift from Uruguay and several of famous people and one to the indigenous people (which is totally good).  And a big “monument to the act of possession” (when Chile claimed the region as its own).  That monument features mermen with abs and a dog and a goat (WTF?).  It’s the most bizarre thing, and the most ridiculous part about it is that it’s the largest of the monuments and features prominently on the coast.

The most famous monuments in the city are the monument to the shepherd and the moment to Ferdinand Magellan.  The monument to the shepherd is one of the city’s main attractions and sits in the median of a big road that isn’t quite in the centre of town.  It features a shepherd, his horse, his dog, and a herd of sheep.  It was constructed because sheep farming is a big industry in the area and this makes the monument super famous.  Right.  Ok.  The monument to Ferdinand Magellan sits in the middle of the city’s main square – the Plaza de Armas – and features not only Ferdinand Magellan (who discovered the Strait of Magellan on which the city sits) but also some indigenous persons, including an Ona person who has his leg hanging off the side of the monument.  Legend has it that if you kiss the toe of the Ona, you’re guaranteed to return to Punta Arenas one day.  I kissed the toe.  Gross, I know.  But I definitely want to come back one day!  I think it’s safe to say that the monument to Ferdinand Magellan is the most appropriate and monument-like monument in the city.

There was also the Cementerio Municipal which was very pretty and full of nice sculptures and memorials, but pales in comparison to the Cementerio de la Recoleta in Buenos Aires.

Pretty views:

The town has some pretty views.  I checked out the viewpoint Mirador Cerro de la Cruz to take in views of the city both in daytime and at night.  A walk along the waterfront was also nice, and I even hopped onto the beach to stand in the Strait of Magellan for a minute.

Fuerte Bulnes:

Fuerte Bulnes lies 60 kilometres south of Punta Arenas and just 30 kilometres north of the very southern tip of the American continent.  I took a day trip down to this historical site.  The original was built in 1843 and was Chile’s original settlement in Patagonia.  The site, however, had terrible weather and was abandoned and destroyed shortly after its founding.  Punta Arenas replaced it.  The current “Fuerte Bulnes” is a recreation of the original, complete with all wooden buildings based on historical records of the time.  Punta Santa Ana – just a short walk on a trail south of the site – is the furthest south I’ve ever been – and further south than most of you readers have ever been, unless you’ve been to Ushuaia, Argentina or on an Antarctic expedition.  Nearby, a lovely museum (including a café and gift shop) tells the story of the settlements, the strait, and the indigenous peoples.

In retrospect, Chile should have known that the site was crappy.  Just 2 kilometres away lies Puerto del Hambre (Port Famine), the original Spanish settlement in the region founded in 1584.  The 300-person strong settlement was visited by an English ship just 3 years later.  There was only 1 survivor.  Bad weather, freezing temperatures, lack of vegetation, and little fresh water spelled doom for the original Spanish settlers.  Hence the name:  Port Famine.

One more monument:

I thought some of Punta Arenas’ monuments were a bit silly, but then I saw the monument marking the middle of Chile.  Now, this blog is about Punta Arenas.  Which is at the bottom of Chile.  This monument was not in Punta Arenas.  It was further south – right near Fuerte Bulnes.  So, the “middle of Chile” is a mere 30 kilometres from the bottom of the American continent.  By that measure, the middle of the United States is at Fort Lauderdale, Florida and the middle of Australia is at Hobart, Tasmania.  Right.

Because Chile claims a huge chunk of Antarctica, the bottom of Chile (in their minds) is the South Pole.  The top of Chile is the border with Peru.  So the middle of Chile is the halfway point between the South Pole and the Peruvian border.  This just happens to sit near Fuerte Bulnes.

Come on, Chile.  You have it together in so many ways.  Stop being ridiculous.

Food:

The restaurant scene in Punta Arenas was… almost universally lacklustre.  I say “almost” because I did have a really good pizza and brownie sundae dinner at La Mesita Grande (which, quite comically, translates to “the big little table”).  I had a nice soup at a restaurant called La Luna, and there was a nice chocolate café in the middle of town (hot chocolate in super cold temperatures = WIN).  But everything else sort of sucked.  Basic sandwiches.  Bad coffees.  Only white bread.  Can I skip all meals until I get back to Santiago?

So, I visited Punta Arenas without visiting any national parks and I’ve managed to fill up 2.5 pages of blog.  I’ll stop now.  But first, let me take a selfie.

To see more photos of my time in Punta Arenas, follow this link:

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10100412603361381.1073741926.3000370&type=1&l=3096267137